i am turning 21... soon enough

i think this song rocks 1. cuz its a sad song. 2. cuz the lyrics are nice.especially the 1st verse:

poor translation skills:
heaven was never a dream, its just that i have forgotten what its like to fly.

it seems to reflect my life now. the present me is living a life that i never expected myself to live - mugging, mugging, mugging.. that has become my only goal in life now. apeart from attending school, i am living an almost-hermit lifestyle. thank god my frens are not super muggers. i think i must be a horrible friend cuz all i do is try hard to mug. s***.

saw a girl being taken away in an ambulance today. she suddenly collapsed in school. maybe she is taking her exams soon. and the stress was too much for her to bear and she finally collapsed. will i become like her? mug till i die?

mommy suddenly asked me a question.

mom: how many more months before you turn 21?
me: *thinking hard* 5 months.. actually a little less than 5 months

that was a scary question. cuz time seemed to whizz pass without me knowing. again. 2006 is coming to a close and that thought was rather depressing. i suppose i am living the life of an average singaporean kid. mugging your youth away cuz everyone tells you it is good for you. eventually i will get my degree and get a job. if possible i will get a high paying one and everyone will start tell you, good for you! you succeeded in life! based on maslow's hierachy of needs, humans not only have physical & material needs..


sorry for my entry today. it just that i am starting to reject the whole idea of mugging hard and aiming for that coverted first class honours. it must be the fact that i am not disciplined enough. or am i just disillusioned? *sighz*

i am living in a vicious cycle. unhappy and stressed that i have to mug my life away. end up i seeking ways to balance that unhappiness. so waste time by watching youtube and doing frivalous stuff. after that i still get stressed and unhappy over the fact that i have many things to mug and it just snowballs.. now i am just waiting for that pending avalanche.



actually i have no idea why i am so f***ing stressed with my life.
wth is wrong with me?!