blue. oh i am feeling so blue.

at the moment, i am feeling utterly BLUE.


it feels like someone performed the dementor's kiss(harry potter) on me and sucked all the happiness out of me - and i wun be able to feel happiness again. alittle exaggerated but the twisted feeling bottled inside me is the same.


feeling down right miserable and words cannot express how i am feeling right now. seriously this feeling sucks.period.


fuck, its worse then having PMS.



it started with me telling my mom how much i wanted to go for the S.H.E. concert - even though i was really broke.


fahrenheit and stefanie sun were the guest stars at the concert. i love them~!


all of them were people i wanted to watch~! and i really think that the concert would really be very cool~! that was why i so wanted to watch the concert. somemore i saw that $150 premier seat tix was still available.


of cuz i told her it only costed $100 but she was not keen on letting me go. not even though i asked her to forward the fees i earned tutoring my sister.. so i asked dad and he gave me the money to go get the tix~! imagine the happiness i felt then. in a matter of 10 minutes, my mood swung from one side of the spectrum to the other end.. cuz mom declared she didn't want to wasting 100 bucks on a concert. and i pleaded for 10 minutes... mom says no means no..



shit i feel like bursting into tears now...



the past few days spent thinking about whether to go for the concert was for nothing. sometimes i think i am such a wimp. filial piety above self? maybe i shoud have acted like some rebellious daugther and walked out of the house with the money to buy the ticket. but i just can't do it - wo zhuo bu dao. the only consolation is that my dad knew i was depressed so he told me to keep the money.


fuck. who says you get freedom when you turn 21. nb. life is still the same.



p/s: sorry for such a vulgur entry. but my mood s super bad now. i have a very bad urge to just WASTE that 100 bucks just to spite someone. but i am gg down to IMM to catch FLH. i dun care.